"Horsemen: The Awakening" Scripting Preview

[Brian Chapman]

Hey fellas,

Just wondering if I can get some feedback on this, my other current idea (the other other one being "Miyagawa", currently on the preview board).

Basically I had an idea with the re-imagining of the Four Horseman tale, and it kinda went off from there.

In the first part, everyone dies. Well, four of them do anyway.

I'm thinking of changing the african kid to an african old man, I just think it would give me more possiblities with scripting in the future.

Like it says in my sig, once I get my ass in gear, I'll get the final five pages or so written. I'm like Kevin Smith doing a spiderman and black cat book ;) .

Brian


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Horsemen: The Awakening
Issue 1 (of 3): Walk Through the Garden
Writer: Brian Chapman

Page by Page Guide

Page 1

A businessman comes home late one night to his pristinely clean apartment. He does the usual cry of “Honey I’m Home” and walks into his front room. Suddenly his wife comes out of the bedroom wearing lingerie. He smiles, believing for a moment that it’s for his benefit. Then he sees a figure behind her in the darkness, trying to get dressed.

Page 2

He barges past her and turns the light on, to reveal another man, still partially dressed and a bed with its covers thrown everywhere. The guy punches Sam Campbell (our Businessman) in the gut and then again in the face, laying him out. Sam fumbles for a weapon and grabs a heavy ornament from a shelf.

Page 3

He slams it over the back of the head of the departing guy as the wife continues to scream for them both to stop, and the guy goes down like a sack of potatoes. Sam drops the blood covered ornament and just stands there looking at his hands, covered in blood. The wife is crying and screaming, asking what they’re going to do. Sam looks up at her and simply says “Get out.”

Page 4

The businessman sits in a cubical in a New York skyscraper. He stands up to attend to some sort of job when he spots a cop at the end of the room. The cop is pointed in his direction. Sam Campbell runs in the opposite direction, and the cop gives chase.

Page 5

He opens up a window and climbs out onto the ledge. The cop leans out and tries to talk him in, promising him a fair trial and basically anything to get him back in. Sam pulls out a gun and tries to aim it at the cop, but drops it off the side of the building.

Page 6

The cop continues to try to argue him in, but Sam replies “The problem is… I’m guilty.” There are tears rolling down his cheeks as he contemplates his fate. He no longer has anything to lose. He holds his arms out and lets himself drop straight off the edge.

Page 7

Cuts to a chemical lab somewhere in South America. Jacque Vanderr is working on some sort of chemical whilst wearing a bio-hazard suit. The test tube holding the chemical is dropped and smashes. Jacque immediately panics and hits an alarm button.

Page 8

Jacque is slamming on the door to the air tight chamber to let him out, but someone has blocked the door from the outside. He turns around and trips over a chair, falling to the ground. The arm of the suit is gashed open on the broken shards of the test tube still on the floor. He looks at his arm in horror.

Page 9

He continues to pound on the door, crying for help as his face starts to swell in a disgusting manner. He falls to the floor, writhing in agony from whatever bio-chemical he inflicted on himself by mistake. An uncaring member of staff outside the cubical remarks “Burn the body afterwards; we can’t let anyone know what we’re doing here.”

Page 10

We start with a view of an African village. We pan over the crops; they’re withered and dying. We go into the village and it’s obvious that people are starving. A mother is walking through the village with a bucket carried on top of her head. We follow the woman into her “house”. It’s nothing more than a muddy hut.

Page 11

She dunks a cup into the water revealing that the water is a deep brown colour and there are things floating about in it. She tries to ease the water past the lips of her sick child and the child doesn’t move. She touches the child and he’s cold. She holds the dead child to her chest and cries. The child is Omar.

Page 12

A British soldier is crouched behind a wall in Basra, it is Bruce Roberts. He jumps up from behind the wall and fires at a group of Iraqi insurgents across an open space strewn with rubble and a flaming land rover. He ducks back behind the wall and beside another soldier. They briefly decide on a plan and then jump into the line of fire to execute it.

Page 13

They fire and move at the Iraqi’s, but are not attacking their position, but moving to another position all together. The due dive over a low wall and turn and cover themselves on the other side. The position is already occupied, but by a foreign journalist.

Page 14

The Iraqi’s continue attack the position and Bruce’s ally shoots them down, but they’re both getting low on ammo. They get up to move once again, and Bruce drags the journalist with him. They seem to be getting away and a helicopter passes overhead; his ally remarks that the extraction team are here.

Page 15

The helicopter touches down and the trio chase on towards it. Suddenly an Iraqi appears from a nearby building armed with a rifle. The Iraqi fires at the Journalist, and Bruce shoves the journalist out of the way and steps into the fire. He’s hit several times in the chest before his partner can dispatch the Iraqi.

Page 16

The partner and journalist manage to drag Bruce onto the helicopter. He’s coughing up blood and the onboard medic can’t close up all the holes in his chest fast enough. With everyone else looking on, he dies in a bloody mess, echoing the scenes in Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down.

Page 17

Cutting once again, but this time to the Aricebo Observatory in Puerto Rico. A student is sitting there behind some heavy duty controls in some sort of control room. He calls a professor over to look at his work. He explains that he’s been looking more deeply into tonight’s planetary alignment, that according to his calculations the planets are aligning with the exact centre of the universe. An event that according to his calculations has never occurred before.

Page 18

The professor takes one look at his calculations and pretty much ignores him, telling him that the centre of the universe is nothing important except to people wanting to study the big bang, or fans of Star Trek Five. Suddenly the machines all go crazy, sprouting off huge amounts of data from every possible point.

Page 19

The professor and three or four students all try to work out what’s going on when suddenly it becomes obvious that it’s a signal, and the reason why every instrument is receiving it, is because it’s coming from everywhere.

Page 20

Cut to a mortuary where an attendant is standing at a desk when the wife (now dressed in a business suit) of Sam Campbell arrives to view the body. He remarks that it’s a bit messy; after all, the guy did drop forty floors onto concrete. The duo walk around to the viewing area to the regular wall of drawers (for bodies).

Page 21

He pulls out a drawer, marked “Campbell, S” and it’s empty. The attendant looks shocked, stating that “I only put him in here a half hour ago!” The wife thinks that it’s not all that funny when suddenly the front door opens and closes. The attendant runs through to the front area, to find no one there.

Page 22

We start with a bare foot walking along pavement. A foot that still has his name on a tag tied to his big toe with a little bit of string. We pan up past the hospital gown and find that it is surprisingly our first Horseman, Sam Campbell. He stops and leans against the wall to get his balance.

Page 23

He stops and looks around as if it’s all coming back to him. He realises that he’s dead, but then stops and says something like “I’m not dead… I’m Death.” Suddenly a voice from behind him says “That’s right, you are.” He turns about and there’s a little girl, no more than 14 standing there all dressed up as a Goth. She says “You are to go to my Master (insert name here with like thirty two syllables in it). He has recruited you.” He says “What?”

Page 24

Full splash page of the little girl holding out a business card which is just entirely blood red with a gothic symbol on it in black. She says “We should go now. The Devil does not like to be kept waiting, Horseman. After all, the apocalypse waits for no man.”

[Dustin Archibald]

Hi Brian,

Hope you find this feedback useful. It will probably jump all over the place.

I like the premise of the story, to have average people become the Four Horsemen is an interesting idea. It's also very clever to have the people become the Horseman they were most associated with (Death, Pestilence, Famine, War in the order you've presented them). Well done on that one. It's subtle so when people look back they get an extra little suprise.

The script seems to focus on two characters more than the others (Death and War). Is this on purpose?

Is it neccesary to have the girl dressed in goth? Perhaps you could have her dressed in a prep school or classic Catholic school uniform, short blonde hair and all. This contrast in what we see may help throw some uneasiness into the reader.

It would be cool if the business card was drenched in blood, staining her hand in the process, yet the symbol doesn't move. If her hand is white, the crimson red will contrast nicely.

When I read the part "I'm not dead...I'm Death" the quote "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds." popped into my head. It would be great if you could work that in.

One part I would like to see changed, and I'm not sure if it will work with what you have planned, is the part where the girl says "You are to go to my Master. You have been recruited." A different way would be "You are to go to the Master. You belong to him now." That's if the Devil is a him and you want to reveal the gender right away.

If the underlying conflict of the story is these people dealing with bringing the world to an end I would actually leave the African boy as is. This way the others of the group can protect and nuture him while he grows and learns to protect them.

Did you purposely make all the characters male? An excellent way to add more appeal would be to have a female horseman.

One last thing, would it benefit your story to have an outside narrator using caption boxes? The effect I'm thinking of would be like the lament in the Lord of the Rings movies, giving your story a more epic feel.

Again, hope these help. I'd like to see more to get a better feel for the story.

[Christian Barratt]

Hey Brian,

Liek dustin, I like the idea here. Its interesting what you seem to be doing, but at the moment I feel like there's not much for the reader to relate to here. I don't really feel sympathetic to any of the characters, particularly since they are going to become the devil's servants pretty soon. Maybe its the fact that Sam doesn't seem too opposed to becoming a horsemen. At least not yet.

Is there going to be a hero in this piece? Like will the four struggle against becoming the devil's servants? I feel like at the moment there's no one for me to root for, you know? I don't particularly want to cheer on characters whose plan is to bring about the apocalypse.

Maybe what I mean is that there isn't any conflict for the characters as yet. And I do say 'as yet' cos theres obviously more to the story. There is certainly some minor conflicts that lead each character to do what they do in their own little threads, but there doesn't seem to be a conflict within the larger arc. At the moment I feel like they're going to become the four horsemen and thats about it. I feel like, 'Well..what else is gonna happen?". I don't feel super-inclined to read the next issue.

On the upside, I do like the realism of each scene you portray. And the way you pack quite a bit of story into each little thread is cool.

As far as suggestions go, I think having a Goth girl 'deliver the message' is a little typical. But I think - although it would be cool and the colours would work as dustin said - that the pristine schoolgirl thing is also very typical and cliche-ish. I think something like a nice old lady, or a fat guy in a fry-cook's outfit - or something else completely random - could be creepier.

Either way I do think this is an interesting idea, but, like I said, I feel like maybe there should be another character. Maybe one that doesn't get turned into a horsemen, or the family member of one that does. Someone we can relate to and follow through the story.

So good luck with this. I'll certainly read more if you happen to chuck it up. Oh, and thanks for critting my Planet Jumpers thing, by the way. :)

- Chris

[Brian Chapman]

Thanks for the feedback guys. Here's the script so far. Made a couple of changes since the page by page and taken a couple of bits you've said in mind. An extra panel here, a word there and it gives that bit more emotional depth to the character.

Plus with Sam, I made him be attacked by the friend instead of him landing the first blow. Makes him look like he did it out of self defence rather than being so cold blooded.

The script is missing the section in the middle with War, I havn't got about to writing that part yet, but let me know what you think.

Also, I changed one of the lines at the end and made the Goth into a Nun. I think it gives the splash page a bit more of a kick from what she's saying, but let me know what you think.

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Horsemen: The Awakening



Issue 1 (of 3)
“Walk Through the Garden”
By Brian Chapman


Page 1

1st Panel

Our main character Sam Campbell is putting his key into the lock of his front door (of his apartment).

Caption; “New York, 19:24pm April 14th”

2nd Panel

He’s just entered through into his hallway, everything is neat and tidy and in it’s place. The entire apartment is decorated in a modern minimalist style with the occasional painting or ornament placed around.

Sam; “Honey, I’m home!”

3rd Panel

Having dropped his briefcase by the door, he’s now hanging his jacket up on a hook just inside the doorway.

Sam; “Turns out they didn’t need me to stay late after all.”

4th Panel

He’s walked into the front room and standing in the doorway to another room is his wife, wearing little more than some expensive lingerie, but not actually showing anything. Sam is surprised, but pleased.

Sam; “Woah, you look great. Is it my birthday already?”

Wife; “Sam, listen I have to tell you something…”

5th Panel

Shot directly on Sam’s wife standing in the doorway. She seems rather nervous about something and is carrying herself strangely. She’s nervous for good reason, because behind her, trying to fasten some pants up in the darkness of the bedroom (which is only lit up by the light of the city and the moon streaming in through the bedroom window) is another guy.

Wife; “I didn’t expect you home so soon…”

6th Panel

Headshot of Sam, he is in shock, mouth agape; the full works.


Page 2

1st Panel

Sam barges past his wife to run into the room in a rush to get at the guy who’s obviously been shagging his wife.

2nd Panel

Small shot of Sam’s hand flicking the light switch on.

3rd Panel

Suddenly the guy, sensing what’s coming, punches Sam in the gut, doubling him over. The guy is dressed only in a pair of slacks and a white shirt (unbuttoned) and looks like a bulked up businessman. The wife looks on from the background, screaming for the duo to stop.

Wife; “STOP!”

4th Panel

The guy continues and tries to finish Sam off with another punch, this time to the side of the face, hard enough to send Sam down to the floor.

5th Panel

Sam is on his ass on the floor, blood seeping from his nose and a cut on his cheek. The blood has dripped down onto his previously clean shirt. He’s knocked the contents of a shelf onto the carpet about him. There’s a black African style statue by his leg.

6th Panel

Sam’s hand grabbing the African style statue by his leg.


Page 3

1st Panel

Sam is back on his feet, unknown to the other guy. The guy is just going through the doorway (the wife has backed out into the living room). Sam slams the statue over the top of the other guy’s head.

2nd Panel

Sam is standing there, looking down at the body of the guy on the floor. There is blood all over Sam’s hand (and the statue), and pouring out of the head of the body. The wife is standing there, looking on in horror.

Wife; “NO!”

Wife; “Oh god, what have you done?”

3rd Panel

Sam looks down at his hands and the ornament. They are all covered in the guy’s blood. Sam’s point of view.

4th Panel

The wife is kneeling down by the body of the guy, holding the guy’s head. She’s still just in the lingerie, and she’s got the guy’s blood on her now too.

Wife; “Sam… we need to call an ambulance. We’ll say he fell and bashed his head…”

5th Panel

Sam is still standing there looking at his blood covered hands. Shot from the Wife’s point of view. He now seems to be extremely calm, but is captivated by his hands.

Sam; “Get out.”


Page 4

1st Panel

The following day, Sam is sitting in his cubical in his office. Usually kind of layout, only major specific things are that he has a framed photograph of his wife on his desk. His suit is a little more creased than usual, as if he had more important things on his mind this morning when he got up. The barrier for the cubical has shoulder height walls.

Caption; “New York, 9:37am April 15th”

2nd Panel

Slightly zoomed in shot of the photograph of his wife, as his hand grabs it.

3rd Panel

He stands up, holding the photograph up to look it.

4th Panel

Before throwing it in a trash bin in the corner of his cubical.

5th Panel

Shot from behind him as he looks over the barrier towards a bunch (three) of cops that have just arrived and are talking to another office worker. The office worker is pointing in his direction. The officer worker is wearing glasses and is rather fat and balding, and male.

6th Panel

Look of terror on Sam’s face.


Page 5

1st Panel

Sam is running down the walkway between the cubicles towards a large window. He’s running like a wild man, as if his life depended on it.

2nd Panel

Shot of the three cops talking to the same office worker. The officer worker is sweating quite a bit too, and looks quite shaken. In the background Sam barges someone out of the way as he runs further towards the window.

Office Worker; “He was this big black guy, wearing a black mask… I thought he was gonna kill me…”

Cop #1; “Did you see any facial features?”

3rd Panel

The Cops have all turned to look towards Sam running in the background as the person he knocked to the floor sits, holding her head.

Cop #1; “John, go see what the hell that guy is doing and I’ll finish questioning this witness”

Cop #2; “Alright.”

4th Panel

Sam reaches the window is opens the window wide, still looking back in terror towards the cops.

5th Panel

Cop #2 is walking on his own very calmly a (almost too calmly) past the person who Sam knocked to the floor. Everyone around him is looking at the cop, but he just stares ahead at the camera.

6th Panel

Sam is climbing through the window and out onto the ledge (you’ve seen the Matrix, that scene is exactly what I’m aiming for, just with a touch more terror.


Page 6

1st Panel

Sam is edging his way along the ledge, with his back up against the window. He’s frightened for his life.

2nd Panel

The cop leans out of the window, trying to get a decent look at Sam, while trying to not even try to get close to the ledge.

Cop #2; “Hey man, get back inside before someone gets hurt!”

3rd Panel

Close up on Sam’s face, the wind blowing his hair about. He still looks panicked.

Sam; “I confess, it was me. I killed him… my best friend. I killed him, and I think I enjoyed it.”

Sam; “I no longer have anything left to lose, good bye.”

4th Panel

Shot back at the Cop, the Cop is suddenly realising what Sam just said.

Cop #2; “Wait! Don’t do it!”

5th Panel

Close up on Sam’s foot, stepping off the ledge.

6th Panel

Shot of the inside of an office lower down in the building, it’s a one man office, probably some type of supervisor. He’s doing some sort of paperwork with his back to the full length windows. However, we can see Sam falling at great speed outside (through the window).


Page 7

1st Panel

We cut to a wide shot of the inside of a bio chemical lab. There is a man standing there holding a test tube up to the light. He is wearing a bio chemical hazard suit and there are hazard signs all over the place. The equipment is pretty much the standard sort of stuff you’d imagine. There is a large viewing window to one side where three people are watching the ongoing events. One is wearing your typical South American General’s uniform, complete with thick bushy moustache and cigar. The other two are white coated scientists, one is a woman.

Female Scientist; “This is where we are developing a new rapid form of Anthrax.”

General; “Good, good.”

2nd Panel

Closer shot of Vanderr in his hazard suit holding the test tube up to his visor.

Vanderr; “Initial test results are positive. Recommend moving onto the first animal tests within the next week.”

3rd Panel

Close up on his hand with the bulky gloves as suddenly the test tube slips through his fingers.

4th Panel

Close up as the tube hits the floor and shatters.

5th Panel

Vanderr hits a big bright red button in the wall with “Chemical Alert” written above it.

6th Panel

Vanderr is standing by the exit to the room with a number lock on the door. He’s inputting a code. There is a desk and a chair nearby.


Page 8

1st Panel

Closeup on the pad as “Error” is displayed on the readout from the number-pad.

2nd Panel

Vanderr is pounding on the door with his fists trying to get people’s attention in a panic.

Vanderr; “Let me out! I’m unaffected! Help me!”

3rd Panel

Vanderr has turned away from the door and is heading towards the viewing window.

4th Panel

Closeup on his foot as it is about to get caught on the foot of a chair.

5th Panel

Vanderr trips and falls to the floor in the same rough area as where he was standing originally (and where the test tube smashed).

6th Panel

Vanderr is looking at his arm in horror, as a piece of glass has ripped open the arm of his hazard suit and embedded itself in his arm.

Vanderr; “Oh God…”


Page 9

1st Panel

Vanderr is on his knees pounding on the safety glass of the viewing window. The three stand there, uncaringly. Vanderr’s face is starting to disform, as if his skin is melting off of it.

Vanderr (voice disfigured); “Help me… there is a cure… there is a cure…”

2nd Panel

Vanderr collapses to the ground as the three continue to look on and do nothing. He’s gone into the foetal position by reflex on the ground.

Vanderr (voice disfigured); “Kill me… it’s too late… it’s too fast…”

3rd Panel

Shot of the three watchers still viewing the sickening death of Jacque Vanderr.

Female Scientist; “Burn everything, leave no trace of the chemical.”

Male Scientist; “The body?”

Female Scientist; “Incinerate it.”

4th Panel

Close up on the general as he removes the cigar from his mouth.

General; “Keep a sample of the chemical. Well… at least we know it works.”

5th Panel

The General is twirling his moustache as if everything is hunky dory. The female scientist is standing there, still watching the corpse through the glass.

General; “What was that about a cure?”

Female Scientist; “He never wrote it down.”

General; “Good. We launch in one week people. Let’s snap to it.”


Page 10

1st Panel

Simple shot of an African village. The sort of shot you get at the start of those documentaries done by charities about the third world. Everything looks bone dry, like there’s been no water there for years.

2nd Panel

Shot of the fields with the village in the background. The crops are all withered and dying from the heat.

3rd Panel

A woman is walking through the village with a bucket carried on her head in that sort of fashion. Once again sticking to the usual third world shots, setting this one up for Famine. Other people are near her, but no one looks healthy.

4th Panel

She takes the bucket off her head just outside her house, if you can call it a house. It’s little more than a hut built out of dried mud.

5th Panel

Shot as she enters the hut, it’s really dark inside, no electricity. Close up on her face as she’s trying to give time for her eyes to adjust after the glare from outside.


Page 11

1st Panel

A small wooden cup is dunked into the bucket. The water in the bucket is brown and there are things living in it, and other things than once were living.

2nd Panel

She puts the cup to the lips of a child who’s lying on the floor in an unusual position. The water simply pours over his cheeks and he doesn’t move. The boy has the belly of a starving African child, and looks dead. He has flies on him.

3rd Panel

She looks panicked for a second, she touches the boys face and he still is unmoving.

4th Panel

She grabs the child and clutches him to her chest and wails in grief at the death of her son.


Page 12


Page 13


Page 14


Page 15


Page 16


Page 17

1st Panel

Just a straight up shot of the Aricebo Observatory in Puerto Rico.

Caption; “Aricebo Observatory, Puerto Rico, 11.30am April 14th”

2nd Panel

A student named Geoff is sitting at a console of some really highly technical number crunching machinery. I can’t even imagine what this sort of stuff looks like, so just copy it from “Contact” or something. The student wears a white lab coat, but with regular civilian clothing underneath. He wears glasses, but not too over the top nerdy ones.

Geoff; “Hey Boss, I got something here.”

3rd Panel

Headshot of a middle aged man. Looks something reminiscent of Brent Spiner as Dr. Soong in Enterprise. He’s Steve, and is the boss of this little group.

Steve; “What’s that Geoff?”


4th Panel

Steve is now leaning over the shoulder of Geoff and reading the consoles that he have been using.

Geoff; “Just something interesting… I just worked out that tonight’s planetary alignment is also in alignment with the exact centre of the Universe.”

Steve; “So?”

5th Panel

Close up shot of Geoff.

Geoff; “Well according to my calculations, this event only occurs once every twenty three billion years or so. So basically, the last time this happened, the planet wasn’t here.”


Page 18

1st Panel

Upper torso shot of Steve.

Steve; “Shouldn’t make a huge difference, the centre of the universe is only of interest to people studying the big bang… or those blasphemers who actually like Star Trek Five.”

2nd Panel

Zoomed out shot showing Steve still standing by Geoff’s desk and Geoff seated, looking up at him. Also on the other side of the room is another two desks with one more person sat at each. They are similarly dressed in white coats with civilian clothing underneath. They will be known as Scientist A and Scientist B, but to be honest, it doesn’t really matter which is which.

Scientist A; “Thank god they finished off the original series movies with number six.”

Scientist B; “Meh, Khan was better.”

Steve; “Of course it was, but we’re not really here to debate that, now are we?”

3rd Panel

Geoff is sitting with his back to machine with the machine going crazy behind him, making all sorts of noises and printing all sorts of reports out. Steve is standing next to him, also facing away from the machine.

Geoff; “I preferred First Contact myself but….”

Steve; “What’s that?”

4th Panel

Steve is once again leaning over Geoff’s shoulder as Geoff checks out his machine.

Geoff; “I seem to be getting a signal… a really strong signal.”

5th Panel

Scientist’s A and B are also working frantically on their machines as their machines also start producing all the little printouts and screens going nuts.

Scientist A; “Getting a signal here too.”

Scientist B; “And another one here.”

6th Panel

Shot of Steve leaning over Geoff again.

Steve; “Make sure you’re recording these for God’s sake…”

Steve; “Three signals…”

Steve; “Something is seriously not right here.”




Page 19

1st Panel

Shot of the doorway and another Scientist is rushing through clutching a wad of printouts in his hand. He’s dressed similarly to the others and will be known as Scientist C. He looks flustered, mainly due to his running to get here.

Scientist C; “Steve, I’m getting a signal!”

2nd Panel

Shot of Steve and Geoff, deep in doing something to the equipment in front of them.

Geoff; “Join the club, we’re all getting signals.”

Steve; “Make sure it’s not another Russian satellite malfunctioning. Last thing I want to report is that Aliens have sent up encoded Russian cable TV.”

Geoff; “Getting a trace from the source of the signal.”

3rd Panel

Close up shot of Geoff, he’s gone pale and looks shocked.

Geoff; “Unless I’m reading this wrong, there are in fact two signals. One is coming from the surface of our sun…”

4th Panel

Scientist B has swung around on his swivel chair and also looks shocked.

Scientist B; “The other is coming from the mathematical centre of the Universe, isn’t it?”

5th Panel

Scientist C is standing by Steve.

Scientist C; “There are two signals, one is coming from the surface of Sol, the other is coming from everything else.”

Steve; “What do you mean everything?”

Scientist C; “Scan anywhere you like, and the second signal seems to be coming from there.”

6th Panel

Geoff is standing next to Steve and Scientist C.

Geoff; “One signal is coming from the Sun and going everywhere, and the other signal is coming from everywhere and going to the Sun.”

7th Panel

Scientist B is now standing and the others are all looking at him.

Scientist B; “Well my signal isn’t coming from Space. It’s being transmitted by something in North America.”


Page 20

1st Panel

A shot of Sam’s wife, in a dark business suit standing inside the foyer of a mortuary. She looks emotionally vacant.

2nd Panel

The mortuary attendant is standing behind a desk. He’s dressed more in a lab coat than something tidy. He’s balding and overweight, while a rather pathetic attempt at a beard has attached itself to his chin.

Attendant; “Can I help you?”

3rd Panel

They’re both in this shot, looking at one another.

Wife; “I’m Sam Campbell’s wife. I’m here to view the body.”

4th Panel

The mortuary attendant is leading Sam’s wife out the back, through some double doors. He’s pushing the doors open ahead of her, all gentlemanly like.

Attendant; “I’m afraid I have to warn you… he’s quite messy. Forty floors onto concrete does a lot of damage to a human body.”


Page 21

1st Panel

They’re standing in front of that wall of silver drawers that’s in every mortuary.

Wife; “I understand.”

2nd Panel

Small shot of the mortuary assistant’s hand grabbing the hand of the drawer marked “Campbell, S”

3rd Panel

The drawer is pulled out, and is completely empty. The mortuary attendant looks horrified.

4th Panel

Shot of the attendant; still looking horrified.

Attendant; “This has to be some kind of joke, I only put him in here half an hour ago!”

5th Panel

Shot of Sam’s wife with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Wife; “This isn’t funny? Where is my husband?”

6th Panel

Small shot of a hand pushing open the front door of the mortuary from the inside.


Page 22

1st Panel

Close up shot of a bare foot as it walks along a sidewalk. It has a mortuary tag still attached to the big toe.

2nd Panel

Shot from behind of Sam Campbell, now naked apart from what appears to be a hospital gown, tied up at the back. People are looking at him as if he’s some weirdo. He’s down some street in New York.

3rd Panel

Shot from the front now. He places one arm against a nearby wall and leans against it, stopping for a moment and bowing his head.

Sam; “Can’t remember…”

4th Panel

Headshot of Sam, looking up now as if he just realised something. His face is much paler than it once was.

Sam; “I died.”

5th Panel

He’s looking down at his hands as if to try to make sure that they’re still attached to the rest of him.

Sam; “I can’t be dead. I’m still here.”



Page 23

1st Panel

Sam has placed a hand flat against his chest as if he’s waiting for his heart to begin thumping again.

Sam; “Death… the destroyer of worlds…”

2nd Panel

Close up on Sam, there is a tear running down his cheek.

Sam; “I can go home again… maybe it will all be different now…”

3rd Panel

There is a Nun standing behind him. By the looks of things a pretty orthodox Nun at that too.

Nun; “Greetings Horseman.”

4th Panel

Sam has turned about and is looking down at the Nun with great suspicion about what is going on.

Sam; “Sorry, what did you call me?”

Nun; “I called you Horseman. You might prefer Soldier of His Lordship From Above, but some find that a little bit too long.”

5th Panel

Close up on the Nun’s face as she smiles a wicked smile.

Nun; “You see… you are Death. The big guy with the scythe. That Death.”


Page 24

1st Panel

Full splash page. The Nun is holding out a blood red business card towards the camera. The card also has a black gothic symbol on it. She shows no emotion except for maybe a small but sinister smile. There seems to be blood pouring out of the symbol, yet the symbol is unmoved on the card.

Nun; “We should go now.”

Nun; “The Devil does not like to be kept waiting.”

Nun; “After all, the Apocalypse waits for no man.”

[Dustin Archibald]

Yeah, the dialogue certainly adds some necessary conflict to the story. It's quite a bit more involving now. I'm getting excited about what will come next so that's pretty good.

Some more stuff if you want it:

It isn't clear that the man Sam kills is his best friend right of the start. Having him yell "Rico!?" would show that he at least knew the person.

The time caption seems to be lost in the last scene where the wife is going to view the body.

The dialogue in the astronomy laboratory between Geoff and Steve doesn't seem realistic. It seems hurried, almost if you want to get a vital plot point out into the open in a hurry. It might be less "pushy" with this kind of conversation to start:

Geoff walks into the room
Geoff: Tonight's the night, gentlemen.
Scientist 1: Man, nothing's gonna happen.
Scientist 2: 50 bucks says nothing happens.
Geoff: I only gamble with my life. (Winks)
Steve: Seriously Geoff. Nothing's going to happen. Even if you did get the alignment calcualtions correct, it probably won't have any effect. That kind of stuff only happens in junk like Star Trek V.
[Continue on with the rest, which I think is pretty good....]

Obvoiusly, it's not perfect but it gives the reader a chance to ask questions and involve them in the sub story.

The last comments I have are about the final scene.

It seems to me that Sam gets over his "death" almost too quickly. It would be great to have him stumbling around and muttering nonsense relating to death (like the quote). I say this because it adds a bit more mystery to the situation and pulls the reader in by presenting questions in a non-verbal way (Where's he going? Why is he muttering stuff about death,...)

Regarding the nun, I think that's a good way to go depending on the role you forsee her/it having. If you take her attitude a bit further it will provide some great contrasts to the reader's view of nuns. From your willingness to change this character's design and behavior I think she may not have a solidified role in the story yet. When I read what she was saying I got a flippant vibe from it (along with the evil smirk). Was that your intention? There's a solid tradition of trickster-like underlings to evil overlords in popular fiction (IE: The man in black from The Dark Tower series). When done right they can provide humor and tension.

Back to the conversation between the nun and Sam. If you were to write her as a trickster like character and him confused:

Nun: Hey, Mr. Ed!
Sam: Huh?
Nun (spinning Sam around): Ed, (mind if I call you Ed, Ed?), grab your scythe we gotta go.
Sam (eyes swooning): [Somthing about death]
Nun: Ya don't say? No scythe eh? [pause] No matter. We'll just swing by Rona and grab a weed wacker. How's that grab ya? One o' them John Deere ones. Gas powered. Nothing like gas power when you're mowin' down the unrepentant eh, Ed?
Sam (focusing): Ed?
Nun: Nevermind.
[Continue on with the rest...]

If she's a straight arrow kind of character then some more dialog will help her along.

The last part is the final splash page. Normally, from what I've seen, a finishing splash page works best with a minimal amount of dialogue, instead the focus is on the art. Probably an inset box with a close up of her mouth saying "The Apocolypse waits for no man" would work just fine.

I hope you can use some of these ideas. I don't mean to step on your toes (I sometimes feel that way when people critique my work). Still, I'm jazzed to see what comes next.

[Brian Chapman]

I like the ideas, especially making the Nun even more flippant. To be honest, the goth girl/schoolgirl was going to be simple throwaway characters, but I'm getting attached to that Nun. Especially after reading the replacement dialogue you put in.

As for War, I'm going to have him being involved with the female reporter as well now. I think the Crying out of the guys name at the start with Death will work wonders as well, so I'll write that in.

As for the scientist bit in the middle, the dialogue at the start does seem "crunchy" I agree, so I'll throw your replacement stuff in for now and mess with it later. It certainly flows better than mine.

[Brian Chapman]

Horsemen update:

Changes made: Altered the script as suggested. The Nun is now much more punk chick verbally. Added the missing war section in the middle. Omar is now known as Demisse. Oh and Jacques Vanderr aka Pestilence is now a woman. I thought it would add most if the horribly disfigured one is a woman. And she's Mira Vanderr.

Here's (hopefully) the finished script:



Horsemen: The Awakening



Issue 1 (of 3)
“Walk Through the Garden”
By Brian Chapman


Page 1

1st Panel

Our main character Sam Campbell is putting his key into the lock of his front door (of his apartment).

Caption; “New York, 19:24pm April 14th”

2nd Panel

He’s just entered through into his hallway, everything is neat and tidy and in it’s place. The entire apartment is decorated in a modern minimalist style with the occasional painting or ornament placed around.

Sam; “Honey, I’m home!”

3rd Panel

Having dropped his briefcase by the door, he’s now hanging his jacket up on a hook just inside the doorway.

Sam; “Turns out they didn’t need me to stay late after all.”

4th Panel

He’s walked into the front room and standing in the doorway to another room is his wife, wearing little more than some expensive lingerie, but not actually showing anything. Sam is surprised, but pleased.

Sam; “Woah, you look great. Is it my birthday already?”

Wife; “Sam, listen I have to tell you something…”

5th Panel

Shot directly on Sam’s wife standing in the doorway. She seems rather nervous about something and is carrying herself strangely. She’s nervous for good reason, because behind her, trying to fasten some pants up in the darkness of the bedroom (which is only lit up by the light of the city and the moon streaming in through the bedroom window) is another guy.

Wife; “I didn’t expect you home so soon…”

6th Panel

Headshot of Sam, he is in shock, mouth agape; the full works.


Page 2

1st Panel

Sam barges past his wife to run into the room in a rush to get at the guy who’s obviously been shagging his wife.

2nd Panel

Small shot of Sam’s hand flicking the light switch on.

3rd Panel

Suddenly the guy, sensing what’s coming, punches Sam in the gut, doubling him over. The guy is dressed only in a pair of slacks and a white shirt (unbuttoned) and looks like a bulked up businessman. The wife looks on from the background, screaming for the duo to stop.

Wife; “STOP!”

4th Panel

The guy continues and tries to finish Sam off with another punch, this time to the side of the face, hard enough to send Sam down to the floor.

5th Panel

Sam is on his ass on the floor, blood seeping from his nose and a cut on his cheek. The blood has dripped down onto his previously clean shirt. He’s knocked the contents of a shelf onto the carpet about him. There’s a black African style statue by his leg.

6th Panel

Sam’s hand grabbing the African style statue by his leg.


Page 3

1st Panel

Sam is back on his feet, unknown to the other guy. The guy is just going through the doorway (the wife has backed out into the living room). Sam slams the statue over the top of the other guy’s head.

2nd Panel

Sam is standing there, looking down at the body of the guy on the floor. There is blood all over Sam’s hand (and the statue), and pouring out of the head of the body. The wife is standing there, looking on in horror.

Wife; “NO!”

Wife; “Oh god, what have you done?”

3rd Panel

Sam looks down at his hands and the ornament. They are all covered in the guy’s blood. Sam’s point of view.

4th Panel

The wife is kneeling down by the body of the guy, holding the guy’s head. She’s still just in the lingerie, and she’s got the guy’s blood on her now too.

Wife; “Sam… we need to call an ambulance. We’ll say he fell and bashed his head…”

5th Panel

Sam is still standing there looking at his blood covered hands. Shot from the Wife’s point of view. He now seems to be extremely calm, but is captivated by his hands.

Sam; “For God’s sake, Rico, why did you have to make me do that.”

Sam; “Laura, get out.”


Page 4

1st Panel

The following day, Sam is sitting in his cubical in his office. Usually kind of layout, only major specific things are that he has a framed photograph of his wife on his desk. His suit is a little more creased than usual, as if he had more important things on his mind this morning when he got up. The barrier for the cubical has shoulder height walls.

Caption; “New York, 9:37am April 15th”

2nd Panel

Slightly zoomed in shot of the photograph of his wife, as his hand grabs it.

3rd Panel

He stands up, holding the photograph up to look it.

4th Panel

Before throwing it in a trash bin in the corner of his cubical.

5th Panel

Shot from behind him as he looks over the barrier towards a bunch (three) of cops that have just arrived and are talking to another office worker. The office worker is pointing in his direction. The officer worker is wearing glasses and is rather fat and balding, and male.

6th Panel

Look of terror on Sam’s face.


Page 5

1st Panel

Sam is running down the walkway between the cubicles towards a large window. He’s running like a wild man, as if his life depended on it.

2nd Panel

Shot of the three cops talking to the same office worker. The officer worker is sweating quite a bit too, and looks quite shaken. In the background Sam barges someone out of the way as he runs further towards the window.

Office Worker; “He was this big black guy, wearing a black mask… I thought he was gonna kill me…”

Cop #1; “Did you see any facial features?”

3rd Panel

The Cops have all turned to look towards Sam running in the background as the person he knocked to the floor sits, holding her head.

Cop #1; “John, go see what the hell that guy is doing and I’ll finish questioning this witness”

Cop #2; “Alright.”

4th Panel

Sam reaches the window is opens the window wide, still looking back in terror towards the cops.

5th Panel

Cop #2 is walking on his own very calmly a (almost too calmly) past the person who Sam knocked to the floor. Everyone around him is looking at the cop, but he just stares ahead at the camera.

6th Panel

Sam is climbing through the window and out onto the ledge (you’ve seen the Matrix, that scene is exactly what I’m aiming for, just with a touch more terror.


Page 6

1st Panel

Sam is edging his way along the ledge, with his back up against the window. He’s frightened for his life.

2nd Panel

The cop leans out of the window, trying to get a decent look at Sam, while trying to not even try to get close to the ledge.

Cop #2; “Hey man, get back inside before someone gets hurt!”

3rd Panel

Close up on Sam’s face, the wind blowing his hair about. He still looks panicked.

Sam; “I confess, it was me. I killed him… my best friend. I killed him, and I think I enjoyed it.”

Sam; “I no longer have anything left to lose, good bye.”

4th Panel

Shot back at the Cop, the Cop is suddenly realising what Sam just said.

Cop #2; “Wait! Don’t do it!”

5th Panel

Close up on Sam’s foot, stepping off the ledge.

6th Panel

Shot of the inside of an office lower down in the building, it’s a one man office, probably some type of supervisor. He’s doing some sort of paperwork with his back to the full length windows. However, we can see Sam falling at great speed outside (through the window).


Page 7

1st Panel

We cut to a wide shot of the inside of a bio chemical lab. There is a woman standing there holding a test tube up to the light. She is wearing a bio chemical hazard suit and there are hazard signs all over the place. The equipment is pretty much the standard sort of stuff you’d imagine. There is a large viewing window to one side where three people are watching the ongoing events. One is wearing your typical South American General’s uniform, complete with thick bushy moustache and cigar. The other two are white coated scientists, one is a woman.

Female Scientist; “This is where we are developing a new rapid form of Anthrax.”

General; “Good, good.”

2nd Panel

Closer shot of Mira Vanderr in her hazard suit holding the test tube up to his visor.

Vanderr; “Initial test results are positive. Recommend moving onto the first animal tests within the next week.”

3rd Panel

Close up on her hand with the bulky gloves as suddenly the test tube slips through his fingers.

4th Panel

Close up as the tube hits the floor and shatters.

5th Panel

Vanderr hits a big bright red button in the wall with “Chemical Alert” written above it.

6th Panel

Vanderr is standing by the exit to the room with a number lock on the door. She’s inputting a code. There is a desk and a chair nearby.


Page 8

1st Panel

Closeup on the pad as “Error” is displayed on the readout from the number-pad.

2nd Panel

Vanderr is pounding on the door with his fists trying to get people’s attention in a panic.

Vanderr; “Let me out! I’m not infected! Help me!”

3rd Panel

Vanderr has turned away from the door and is heading towards the viewing window.

4th Panel

Closeup on his foot as it is about to get caught on the foot of a chair.

5th Panel

Vanderr trips and falls to the floor in the same rough area as where she was standing originally (and where the test tube smashed).

6th Panel

Vanderr is looking at her arm in horror, as a piece of glass has ripped open the arm of her hazard suit and embedded itself in his arm.

Vanderr; “Oh God…”


Page 9

1st Panel

Vanderr is on her knees pounding on the safety glass of the viewing window. The three stand there, uncaringly. Vanderr’s face is starting to disform, as if her skin is melting off of it.

Vanderr (voice disfigured); “Help me… there is a cure… there is a cure…”

2nd Panel

Vanderr collapses to the ground as the three continue to look on and do nothing. She’s gone into the foetal position by reflex on the ground.

Vanderr (voice disfigured); “Kill me… it’s too late… it’s too fast…”

3rd Panel

Shot of the three watchers still viewing the sickening death of Mira Vanderr.

Female Scientist; “Burn everything, leave no trace of the chemical.”

Male Scientist; “The body?”

Female Scientist; “Incinerate it.”

4th Panel

Close up on the general as he removes the cigar from his mouth.

General; “Keep a sample of the chemical. Well… at least we know it works.”

5th Panel

The General is twirling his moustache as if everything is hunky dory. The female scientist is standing there, still watching the corpse through the glass.

General; “What was that about a cure?”

Female Scientist; “She never wrote it down.”

General; “Good. Launch in one week.”


Page 10

1st Panel

Simple shot of an African village. The sort of shot you get at the start of those documentaries done by charities about the third world. Everything looks bone dry, like there’s been no water there for years.

2nd Panel

Shot of the fields with the village in the background. The crops are all withered and dying from the heat.

3rd Panel

A woman is walking through the village with a bucket carried on her head in that sort of fashion. Once again sticking to the usual third world shots, setting this one up for Famine. Other people are near her, but no one looks healthy.

4th Panel

She takes the bucket off her head just outside her house, if you can call it a house. It’s little more than a hut built out of dried mud.

5th Panel

Shot as she enters the hut, it’s really dark inside, no electricity. Close up on her face as she’s trying to give time for her eyes to adjust after the glare from outside.


Page 11

1st Panel

A small wooden cup is dunked into the bucket. The water in the bucket is brown and there are things living in it, and other things than once were living.

2nd Panel

She puts the cup to the lips of a child who’s lying on the floor in an unusual position. The water simply pours over his cheeks and he doesn’t move. The boy has the belly of a starving African child, and looks dead. He has flies on him.

3rd Panel

She looks panicked for a second, she touches the boys face and he still is unmoving.

4th Panel

She grabs the child and clutches him to her chest and wails in grief at the death of her son.


Page 12

1st Panel
Best thing I can do here is to ask the artist to go watch Black Hawk Down. It’s a good film, and the work on that dust which just coats everything is perfect for the next few pages.

Our War, Bruce Roberts is crouched down behind a wall holding his SA-80 as if his life depends on it (once we get that far, I’ll find some shots of the rifle… it’s different shaped to an M16).

Bruce; “Damn, it’s hot.”

2nd Panel
Suddenly he’s firing the rifle over the wall at a group of equally armed Iraqi looking insurgents across a small square. The square is strewn with rubble and with a flaming land rover off to one side (I’ll find reference photos of a land rover should it be needed… it’s defiantly smaller than a Hummvee).

3rd Panel
He’s crouching back down again, this time beside another soldier. He’s in similar uniform to Bruce, and similarly armed. Have him be a black guy (because I just realised that I unintentionally managed to now have any in the book so far). We’ll call him JJ for now.

Bruce; “You know why I joined the army?”

JJ; “Why’s that?”

Bruce; “Because you get to travel around the world, meet the local people… and kill them.”

JJ; “The usual?”

Bruce; “Go for it”


Page 13

1st Panel
Bruce is firing over the wall once again, but this time his buddy has leaped over the wall.

Bruce; “I….!”

2nd Panel
The guy hits the dirt and starts to fire once again, now Bruce jumps over the wall.

Bruce; “AM HAVING……!”

3rd Panel
Bruce is leaning over the bonnet of the land rover and firing, the other soldier running towards his position. You can see one of the Iraqi’s throwing a grenade.

Bruce; “A REALLY……..!”

4th Panel
Small insert shot of the grenade landing under the land rover.

5th Panel
Shot of the two soldiers diving over another low wall, with the land rover exploding massively behind them. There is a female journalist in a defensive position huddled on the safe side of the wall (the side they’re diving behind).

Bruce; “BAD DAY!!!!”


Page 14

1st Panel
JJ shoots a couple of Iraqi’s who suddenly appear near their position.

2nd Panel
JJ looking over towards Bruce. Bruce is trying to comfort the frightened journalist.

JJ; “How much ammo you got left?”

Bruce; “Near the sod all level.”

3rd Panel
A black hawk helicopter passes over the top of them.

JJ; “Damn, I love the yanks right now.”

Bruce; “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

4th Panel
The trio are running through the dusty deserted streets. JJ is leading holding his rifle. Bruce has hold of the Journalist by the back of her flak jacket and has his pistol in his other hand.

JJ; “Just remember when you’re writing that article Miss, it’s J-O-H-N-S-O-N.”

Bruce; “And Campbell has two L’s at the end.”


Page 15

1st Panel
The black hawk touches down in another square, similar to the previous one. Dust gets thrown about a bit and a couple of American Marines jump out to cover.

2nd Panel
The trio run into the square, Bruce nearly having to drag the journalist to make sure she keeps up.

3rd Panel
Sniper’s eye view with the cross hair on the journalist.

4th Panel
A loud bang in a small shot of Bruce looking shocked as he recognises what it is.

5th Panel
Bruce stepping in front of the Journalist whilst being hit in the chest by the first bullet, a spray of blood.

6th Panel
Bruce being hit over and over again, sprays of blood.


Page 16

1st Panel
JJ and the American’s all return fire.

2nd Panel
JJ and the Journalist drag Bruce next to the helicopter.

JJ; “Come on buddy, stay with us.”

3rd Panel
Bruce lying in the helicopter. It’s in flight and the medic onboard is doing his best to see to his wounds, but there’s just way too much blood. Lettering should show him talking very weakly.

Bruce; “remember… two l’s….”

4th Panel
Big shot of Bruce lying there, dead, bleeding like mad, his eyes closed and the medic has stopped working. The Journalist looks horrified. JJ and the Americans look on in horror.



Page 17

1st Panel

Just a straight up shot of the Aricebo Observatory in Puerto Rico.

Caption; “Aricebo Observatory, Puerto Rico, 11.30am April 14th”

2nd Panel

A student named Geoff is sitting at a console of some really highly technical number crunching machinery. I can’t even imagine what this sort of stuff looks like, so just copy it from “Contact” or something. The student wears a white lab coat, but with regular civilian clothing underneath. He wears glasses, but not too over the top nerdy ones.

Geoff; “Tonight's the night, gentlemen..”

3rd Panel

Headshot of a middle aged man. Looks something reminiscent of Brent Spiner as Dr. Soong in Enterprise. He’s Steve, and is the boss of this little group.

Steve; “Man, nothing's gonna happen.”

4th Panel
Geoff is grinning while sitting at his desk. You can see one of the other scientists in the background.

Scientist A; “50 bucks says nothing happens.”

Geoff; “I only gamble with my life.”

5th Panel
Quite an open shot of the office. Leave enough space for an overly large word balloon.

Steve; “Seriously Geoff. Nothing's going to happen. Even if you did get the alignment calculations correct, it probably won't have any effect. That kind of stuff only happens in junk like Star Trek V.”


Page 18

1st Panel

Upper torso shot of Steve.

Steve; “Shouldn’t make a huge difference, the centre of the universe is only of interest to people studying the big bang… or those blasphemers who actually like Star Trek Five.”

2nd Panel

Zoomed out shot showing Steve still standing by Geoff’s desk and Geoff seated, looking up at him. Also on the other side of the room is another two desks with one more person sat at each. They are similarly dressed in white coats with civilian clothing underneath. They will be known as Scientist A and Scientist B, but to be honest, it doesn’t really matter which is which.

Scientist A; “Thank god they finished off the original series movies with number six.”

Scientist B; “Meh, Khan was better.”

Steve; “Of course it was, but we’re not really here to debate that, now are we?”

3rd Panel

Geoff is sitting with his back to machine with the machine going crazy behind him, making all sorts of noises and printing all sorts of reports out. Steve is standing next to him, also facing away from the machine.

Geoff; “I preferred First Contact myself but….”

Steve; “What’s that?”

4th Panel

Steve is once again leaning over Geoff’s shoulder as Geoff checks out his machine.

Geoff; “I seem to be getting a signal… a really strong signal.”

5th Panel

Scientist’s A and B are also working frantically on their machines as their machines also start producing all the little printouts and screens going nuts.

Scientist A; “Getting a signal here too.”

Scientist B; “And another one here.”

6th Panel

Shot of Steve leaning over Geoff again.

Steve; “Make sure you’re recording these for God’s sake…”

Steve; “Three signals…”

Steve; “Something is seriously not right here.”




Page 19

1st Panel

Shot of the doorway and another Scientist is rushing through clutching a wad of printouts in his hand. He’s dressed similarly to the others and will be known as Scientist C. He looks flustered, mainly due to his running to get here.

Scientist C; “Steve, I’m getting a signal!”

2nd Panel

Shot of Steve and Geoff, deep in doing something to the equipment in front of them.

Geoff; “Join the club, we’re all getting signals.”

Steve; “Make sure it’s not another Russian satellite malfunctioning. Last thing I want to report is that Aliens have sent up encoded Russian cable TV.”

Geoff; “Getting a trace from the source of the signal.”

3rd Panel

Close up shot of Geoff, he’s gone pale and looks shocked.

Geoff; “Unless I’m reading this wrong, there are in fact two signals. One is coming from the surface of our sun…”

4th Panel

Scientist B has swung around on his swivel chair and also looks shocked.

Scientist B; “The other is coming from the mathematical centre of the Universe, isn’t it?”

5th Panel

Scientist C is standing by Steve.

Scientist C; “There are two signals, one is coming from the surface of Sol, the other is coming from everything else.”

Steve; “What do you mean everything?”

Scientist C; “Scan anywhere you like, and the second signal seems to be coming from there.”

6th Panel

Geoff is standing next to Steve and Scientist C.

Geoff; “One signal is coming from the Sun and going everywhere, and the other signal is coming from everywhere and going to the Sun.”

7th Panel

Scientist B is now standing and the others are all looking at him.

Scientist B; “Well my signal isn’t coming from Space. It’s being transmitted by something in North America.”


Page 20

1st Panel

A shot of Sam’s wife, in a dark business suit standing inside the foyer of a mortuary. She looks emotionally vacant.

2nd Panel

The mortuary attendant is standing behind a desk. He’s dressed more in a lab coat than something tidy. He’s balding and overweight, while a rather pathetic attempt at a beard has attached itself to his chin.

Attendant; “Can I help you?”

3rd Panel

They’re both in this shot, looking at one another.

Wife; “I’m Sam Campbell’s wife. I’m here to view the body.”

4th Panel

The mortuary attendant is leading Sam’s wife out the back, through some double doors. He’s pushing the doors open ahead of her, all gentlemanly like.

Attendant; “I’m afraid I have to warn you… he’s quite messy. Forty floors onto concrete does a lot of damage to a human body.”


Page 21

1st Panel

They’re standing in front of that wall of silver drawers that’s in every mortuary.

Wife; “I understand.”

2nd Panel

Small shot of the mortuary assistant’s hand grabbing the hand of the drawer marked “Campbell, S”

3rd Panel

The drawer is pulled out, and is completely empty. The mortuary attendant looks horrified.

4th Panel

Shot of the attendant; still looking horrified.

Attendant; “This has to be some kind of joke, I only put him in here half an hour ago!”

5th Panel

Shot of Sam’s wife with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Wife; “This isn’t funny? Where is my husband?”

6th Panel

Small shot of a hand pushing open the front door of the mortuary from the inside.


Page 22

1st Panel

Close up shot of a bare foot as it walks along a sidewalk. It has a mortuary tag still attached to the big toe.

2nd Panel

Shot from behind of Sam Campbell, now naked apart from what appears to be a hospital gown, tied up at the back. People are looking at him as if he’s some weirdo. He’s down some street in New York.

3rd Panel

Shot from the front now. He places one arm against a nearby wall and leans against it, stopping for a moment and bowing his head.

Sam; “Can’t remember…”

4th Panel

Headshot of Sam, looking up now as if he just realised something. His face is much paler than it once was.

Sam; “I died.”

5th Panel

He’s looking down at his hands as if to try to make sure that they’re still attached to the rest of him.

Sam; “I can’t be dead. I’m still here.”



Page 23

1st Panel

Sam has placed a hand flat against his chest as if he’s waiting for his heart to begin thumping again.

Sam; “Death… the destroyer of worlds…”

2nd Panel

Close up on Sam, there is a tear running down his cheek.

Sam; “I can go home again… maybe it will all be different now…”

3rd Panel

There is a Nun standing behind him. By the looks of things a pretty orthodox Nun at that too.

Nun; “Hey, Mr. Ed!”

4th Panel

Sam has turned about and is looking down at the Nun with great suspicion about what is going on.

Sam; “Huh?”

Nun; “Ed, grab your scythe we gotta go.”

5th Panel

Close up on the Nun’s face as she smiles a wicked smile.

Nun; “Ya don't say? No scythe eh? No matter. We'll just swing by Rona and grab a weed wacker. How's that grab ya? One o' them John Deere ones. Gas powered. Nothing like gas power when you're mowin' down the unrepentant eh, Ed?.”


Page 24

1st Panel
Small insert shot in one of the top corners of Sam’s face.

Sam; “Ed?”


2nd Panel
Full splash page. The Nun is holding out a blood red business card towards the camera. The card also has a black gothic symbol on it. She shows no emotion except for maybe a small but sinister smile. There seems to be blood pouring out of the symbol, yet the symbol is unmoved on the card.

Nun; “Nevermind”

Nun; “The Devil’s in a bad mood since they cancelled ‘Dead Like Me’, so we gotta get a move on!”

Nun; “He’s eager for his little shindig to start; although he calls it an Apocalypse.”

[Brian Chapman]

Just realised I managed to mix up Bruce and Sam's surnames in Bruce's section.

Which is kinda amusing since it then created a guy called Bruce Campbell running about.

I wrote the entire section and never realised. I even wrote dialogue around it.

**slaps forehead**

Oh well, I'll change that at the lettering stage.