Buffy script

[Noble Larimer]

Here's something I did about four years ago as an exercise to see if I could write other people's characters and still have them 'feel and sound' like they should. It's really good practice to help you stay in character when writing.
This takes place during season 5 when spike was after buffy but had yet to land her.

1ST ISSUE
Page 1

1st panel

Night time on the rain slicked streets of Sunnydale. The rain has stopped falling, but evidence of its passing remain. Buffy, Anya, and Willow are walking and talking. They are dressed in formal wear. Low cut dresses, high heels, hair done up, make-up, the works.

Buffy; “Exactly how did I let you talk me into this again? I should be out patrolling.”

Willow; “Buffy! You promised! No Slayer talk tonight. We all agreed you needed some time away from the whole poking vampires with wood thing.”

2nd panel

Buffy looking confused; “Agreed? Was there a meeting I missed? Because it sounded more like blackmail from where I was sitting.”

Willow; “Blackmail. Humph. That’s such a strong word.”

Anya; “I prefer cohersed, or forced. Yes, I rather like that. We forced Buffy into some thing she doesn’t want to do. Not in the physical sense of course. No, miss muscles would of just popped off our little heads if we tried getting physical.”


3rd panel

Buffy; “I still don’t see what all the drama’s about.”

Willow; “Buffy, you accused the mailman of being a Canterian demon!”

Buffy; “So I made one tiny teensy mistake. Everyone has off days.”

Willow; “Mistake!?! You set the man on fire!”

4th panel

Anya; “Was that before or after he fell into the tiger pit?”

Willow; “Anya, remember those talks Xander had about not helping?”

Anya; “Uh huh.”

Willow; “Well, you’re doing it again.”

5th panel

Anya looking upset; “Gosh, Buffy attacks innocent people and we take her to a dance. I try and...”

Willow; “Anya!”

Anya; “Sorry.”

6th panel

Buffy; “It’s not like he was hurt or anything, and come on! Did you get a good look at him? Those beady eyes, that shuffling walk....”

Willow interrupting; “The way he’d show up everyday at the same time, those funny blue shorts, how dare he deliver our mail! Would you listen to yourself? This is why you need a break.”

7th panel

Anya; “Buffy the postal slayer. Look out public servants, Buffy’s gonna...”

Page 2

1st panel

Willow and Buffy are giving Anya ‘the look’.

2nd panel

Anya looking confused; “What?”

3rd panel

Willow is shaking her hands out in front of her; “Oh, oh, we’re almost there. I’m sooooooo nervous. Do I look ok? Oooooh, I need more make-up, and my.....”

Buffy cutting in; “Willow! Breathe. You look great. Besides, I’m the one who should be nervous, you two already have significant others, while I’m just spinster Buffy. Ooooh, I hate this! I’m the slayer! I’ve killed demons, demons for crying out loud, yet going out to look for potential date material is....ugh! I don’t even know why I bother.”

4th panel

Anya; “Neither do I. I mean the first one turns into a monster and tries to kill your friends. Heeeeellooooo? Vampire. Not my first choice in a mate. Second one just used you for sex. Then poor Riley. You sure did a number on him! You made the guy run away for......I’m doing it again aren’t I? I’ll shut up now.”

5th panel

Willow; “In her own way, however wrong it was, Anya did make a point. You haven’t had a relationship since Riley. It’d do you some good to get back in the dating game. Don’t you know if you get bucked off, you’re supposed to climb back on the saddle?”

6th panel
Anya looking confused again; “Wait, Riley was a horse?”

Buffy; “No, Anya, he was a man. It’s just a figure of speech. He had the constitution of a horse, but....”

Willow; “Buffy!”

Buffy; “Oh come on Willow, we’re all adults here.”

Willow; “Still.”

Anya; “Soooooo......he was a horse?”

7th panel

Buffy; “Never mind. Wait till we get to the Bronze, we’re gonna knock the guys dead when they see us.”

Willow; “Hey!”

Buffy; “Sorry Will, you can knock the girls dead.”

Willow; “That’s better.”

Page 3

1st panel

Caption box; “Between the three of us their won’t be any one left standing.”

Xander is dressed in a nice suit, and he’s slumped over a table at the bronze. He has his head resting on his arms and he is drooling on the table.

2nd panel

Tara sets a drink down in front of him.

She too is dressed nicely. “Here you go Xan...Xander?”

3rd panel

She shakes his back; “Xander?”

4th panel

Xander shoots up and starts pin wheeling his arms as he is falling over backwards in his chair; “Gaaaahhh!!!!!! Poopy trim!”

5th panel

Xander lands on the floor with a crash. His legs are sticking up in the air.

Xander; “Owwwwww.....”

6th panel

Xander shoots straight up into a standing position. “Who’s asleep? Not me, nope. I’m rearing to go. Just call me Mr. party.” He has a pretzel stuck to his cheek.

7th panel

Giles; “Construction job a little more taxing than you were once led to believe?”

Page 4

1st panel

Xander; “Triple overtime may sound good in theory, but this is the first day I’ve had off since.....wait a minute....oh God....I can’t feel my legs! Some one’s stolen my legs!!!! Tara quick block the exits! You won’t get out of here thief!”

2nd panel

Giles; “Dear lord boy, calm down!”

Xander looking more frantic; “Calm?! How can I stay calm at a time like this! Call Buffy! There’s a leg stealing demon on the loose!”

Giles; “One you need to get more rest, and two, your legs are most likely asleep from the way you were sitting on them.”

3rd panel Xander; “You seem to have words coming out of your mouth, but I ain’t following chief.” Xander looks really confused.

Giles; “Look you bloody idiot, your legs are right there! How could you be standing if you had no legs?”

4th panel

Xander looks at Tara; “Is this true?”

Tara; “Yes Xander, two legs right there. Look for yourself.”

5th panel

Xander looks down. “Heh! Heh! Oh, so they are. Heh, you uh....think anybody noticed all that?”

6th panel

Everyone in the Bronze has stopped and is staring at Xander.

Tara; “I’d say yes.”

7th panel

Xander holds up his arms; “Nothing to see people. Go about your merriment. Can’t a guy have a fatigue induced nervous breakdown without everyone staring?”

8th panel

Xander has plopped back down into his chair and is hiding his head under his arms; “Oh, God. Kill me now. If anyone wants me I’ll be crawling into this bowl of pretzels looking for what’s left of my dignity.”

Page 5

1st panel

Spike walks by and pats Xander on the back; “Good one, mate.”

2nd panel

Xander sits straight up; “I don’t care if everyone else on the planet is mocking me, I draw the line with Spike.”

Giles is pointing at Xander’s cheek trying to alert him to the pretzel still stuck to it. “Uhh...Xander, before you do anything rash, you have a...”

3rd panel

Xander holds up his hand in Giles’ face; “No, don’t try and stop me. It’s about time some one put that bleached blonde bimbo in his place.”

Giles; “But...”

4th panel

Xander just gives Giles his best look of determination.

Giles; “Oh, all right. Do what you like. Why do I even bother.”

5th panel

Xander gets in Spike’s face. Xander still has a pretzel stuck to his face.

Xander; “Spike.”

Spike; “Wanker.”

6th panel

Xander puts his finger in Spike’s chest; “I don’t know why you’re here, oh helpless one, but if you even look sideways at Buffy and I’ll...I’ll....”

7th panel

Xander’s eyes narrow; “I don’t know what I’ll do, but It’ll sting like crazy and leave a mark for days. So there!”

Page 6

1st panel

Spike has plopped down into a chair. He has his feet on the table; “Didn’t know she was gonna show tonight. I got things of my own to take care of, so I do. What, you think Buffy’s the only thing I think about?”

Xander is giving Spike a ‘yeah right’ look; “Look Spike, everyone and their grandmas know you got a jones for the Buffster, but I’m here to tell you to back off. The lady ain’t interested, pal.”

2nd panel

Spike; “And I told you once, you bumbling twit, I’m here for my own reasons.”

Xander; “Yeah? Like what?”

3rd panel

Spike points behind Xander.

4th panel

There is a grotesquely fat woman standing against the wall. Bad hair, bad teeth, bad clothes. The whole nine yards. She is just overly disgusting.

5th panel

Xander has a look of disgust on his face and his mouth is hanging open; “Dear lord, someone burn my eyeballs. That is the single most horrible sight ever unleashed upon mankind. I know when a good looking girl shoots you down, you lower your expectations but....gaaaaahhhh! Waaaaaait, on second thought, she’s perfect for a slime ball like you, Spike.”

6th panel

Spike rolls his eyes; “Oh, bloody hell, you ignorant git! Not the girl. Behind her.”

Page 7

1st panel

Behind the girl is a sign that says; “Easter special : Buy 1 plate of spicy wings, get the next one free!”

2nd panel

Xander looking at Spike unbelievingly; “Let me get this straight. You’re here for the wings?”

Spike; “Damn straight! Tasty little buggers, so they are.”

Xander; “I think I liked you better as a homicidal maniac.”

3rd panel

Spike is standing right next to Xander getting in his face. “Bit of advice, mate.”

4th panel

Spike snatches the pretzel off of Xander’s cheek.

Xander flinches; “Not the face! Not the face!”

5th panel

Spike holds up the pretzel; “Next time you try and play alpha male....”

6th panel

He bites down on the pretzel; “Leave the snacks at home....” He has an evil grin on his face.

[Noble Larimer]

Page 8

1st panel

Caption box; “...and leave the threatening to those that are more suited for it, sunshine.”

This is a shot of Willie’s bar. There are a few demons laying about getting drunk. The door is opening and there is a young man, 20 yr. old, long brown hair, with blonde streaks throughout the lengths. He is dressed in black pleather pants, black boots, a long sleeved black shirt. There are leather straps that go across the shoulders, mid bicep, and elbow. The shirt is a mesh design, like Jeff Hardy wears so that it is see through. He has black electrical tape on his right hand going around his thumb, his middle and ring finger and around both wrists. He has a silver ring on his left ring finger, and he is missing the top half of his right pinkie. He is 5’11, 170lbs, in fairly decent shape. There is moonlight streaming in behind him, casting long shadows across the bar floor.

2nd panel

The boy walks up to the bar and is talking to Willie; “You Willie?”

Willie; “What if I am? What’s it to you?”

Boy; “I’m looking for the Slayer.”

3rd panel

One of the demons at the bar looks suspiciously at him.

4th panel

Willie; “Why don’t you say it a little louder. I don’t think they heard you downtown.”

Boy; “Don’t interrupt me. I’m looking for the slayer and I’m told you’re the man to see. If you don’t tell me what I want to hear in the next two minutes. I’m going to kill everyone in here, and burn this dump down around your still bleeding carcass.”

5th panel

A spiky demon puts it’s hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Think it’s time for you to go, son.”

6th panel

The boy shoots his right arm straight up at the elbow, smashing the demon in the face. Its knocked off it’s feet as blood flies from it’s upturned mouth.

Boy; “Was I talking to you?”

Page 9

1st panel

Willie; “Hey! Hey! You can’t come in here and do that! This place is neutral territory! Everyone agrees, no fighting in here!”

2nd panel

The boy jumps over the bar, grabbing a sharp metal disc off his belt. It is a round throwing disc, the size of an angel’s halo. It has ruins carved into it’s surface that are glowing a light blue color.

3rd panel

He slams Willie up against the wall, putting the disc up against Willie’s neck; “I never agreed to anything, stoolie. Now as I was saying, Where’s the slayer?”

Willie is looking down at the disc. He looks scared; “I...I...is that what I think it is?”

4th panel

The boy gets an angry look on his face; “Yes it is, but that’s not what I asked you is it? I don’t think you’re paying attention.”

5th panel

He pulls his arm back getting ready to slice Willie with his blade. “Maybe this’ll get your undivided attention.”

Willie is cringing; “Don’t!”

6th panel

Another demon grabs hold of the boy’s arm. The boy is looking back at it scowling; “Wanna let go of my arm before I remove yours?”

Demon; “Willie may be a low down slime ball, but he’s our slime ball. You must have some kind of death wish coming in here alone.”

7th panel T

here are about ten demons and vampires crowding around the bar, looking for a fight.

Page 10

1st panel

The door fly’s off its hinges and goes flying across the room in a shower of splinters.

2nd panel

3/4 page shot. Caption box; “I never said I was alone.”

There are four figures standing in the open doorway. Moonlight is filtering in behind them. There is a young boy, 16yrs old. He has two sawed off shotguns pointed out in front of him. He has on black cut off shorts, a rock t-shirt of some kind, a black NIN ballcap turned around backwards, and white sneakers. He is about 5’10 tall 135 lbs small but toned muscle wise. He has short black hair. There is another guy 20yrs old. He has on blue jeans, white t-shirt and a blue ballcap. He has shoulder length dirty brown hair. He has on brown workboots, and a bracelet on each arm that starts at his wrist and goes almost up to his elbow. They are silver and have red ruins on them that are glowing, He is 5’ 11 185lbs. He has a huge axe in his hands. He has the bottom part of the handle in his right hand and the handle of the axe is going diagonally across his mid-section, and he has his left hand grasping higher up on the axe handle. There is a female vampire, looks about 24. She is 6’4 athletic. long curyly black hair that has braids hanging down on either side of her face. She is dressed in black gothic style fighting clothes, with black buckle up boots. She is in vamp mode and is crouched and ready to spring. There is another vampire, this one male. He has short spiky brown hair, is 6’0’ 180lbs. He too is in vamp mode and is ready to attack.

Page 11

1st panel

Buffy is making a pouty face as she grabs her stomach. “God I hate good Friday! I want a burger! Some meat of any kind! But no, can’t eat meat today or you’ll burn in hell! Whose idea was this to not eat meat anyway?”

2nd panel

Willow; “Buffy, I didn’t know you were a practicing religiousaholic.”

Buffy; “Usually I’m not, but I have to set an example for Dawn. She doesn’t think she has to do anything I won’t do. I swear kids nowadays can be so difficult.”

Willow; “Yeah them crazy kids, I just can’t understand them anymore, seeing as how we’re so old an all now.”

3rd panel
Anya; “Wait. I thought this was the day that your savior, what’s his name, was crucified on the cross.”

Willow looking defensive; “Not my savior, thank you very much.”

Anya; “Then why do you refer to it as good Friday? I mean, if my savior was ritualistically slaughtered I wouldn’t refer to it as good anything. Shouldn’t it be bad Friday? And why aren’t you eating any meat today? It’s not like you had anything to do with it. You didn’t did you?”

4th panel

Buffy; “No Anya, you’re not supposed to eat meat on good Friday because....ummm....just because, okay.”

Willow; “You and your pagan holidays, Christmas, Easter, they’re all so....”

Buffy interrupting; “You’re just mad because the Easter Bunny passes your house by every year, Will.”

5th panel

Anya looks scared; “The Easter who what now?”

Buffy; “Bunny, Anya. See this cute little bunny comes to everyone’s house on Easter Sunday and....”

6th panel

Anya looking frightened and angry at the same time; “What!? Why wasn’t I told? What, didn’t think it was important enough to mention that a BUNNY is coming to my house? Looking for me no doubt. I want Xander! Now!”

7th panel

Buffy, “Calm down! Besides, the Easter Bunny isn’t real. He’s like Santa clause and the Tooth Fairy.”

Anya; “You’re just saying that to calm me down. Well it won’t work. You hear?! There is a bunny out there, and he’s coming for me!”

Page 12

1st panel

Buffy gets her game face on, “Put a lid on it, we’ve got vamps.”

2nd panel

There is a group of four vamps creeping in the shadows. They aren’t paying attention to the gang at all.

3rd panel

Buffy is shuffling through her purse. “Get to the Bronze and tell the rest of the gang I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Willow looks disappointed; “Buffy! You promised.”

4th panel

Buffy still digging in her purse; “Where are you....What Will, you want me to just ignore them? Hope they go away like good little vamps?”

Willow; “Maybe they aren’t here to do any badness. Maybe...maybe they’re here on vacation...or...or visiting friends. Ever think of that?”

5th panel

Anya; “Vacation. Right. Maybe they’re looking for one of those cheap souvenir shops to get a : I visited the hell mouth and all I got was this lousy T-shirt, T-shirt. Or a little slayer knick-knack to scare the little vamps at home into being good little blood suckers.”

6th panel

A girl shrieks in the distance. Buffy pulls out a sharp stake; “There goes that theory Will.”

Anya; “Maybe the Easter Bunny got them.”

Buffy; “Get going girls, I’ll be back before you know it.”